Some kind of note

Most of the time I get too embarrassed when I share my personal sadness with people. I feel like I'm sending them bad vibes and I'm ashamed that I'm ruining their happy day. I don't consider myself as the sulking type, because honestly I don't feel sad often but when I do, it's in an overwhelming manner.

However, there are times when I feel like I need to talk to someone to vent out. Keeping everything to yourself is hard (and that I know very well). I have too much on my plate and I don't know if I could handle them anymore.

Later this month I am going to face a very important thing in my life and I feel really anxious about it. It's a huge deal to me and I want it so bad, I'm so scared to fuck it up. It stresses me out so bad and I have very weird anxiety levels so it's a struggle every single day. I have been clinging on all the while to my sole source of happiness (a different, inexplicable kind) and just when I needed it the most, it fucks everything up.

Yes, I was really hurt, and I can't even describe the amount of pain I have been feeling. I don't think no one can fully understand how I value this. I have been caring so much and would give everything that I have for it but at the end of the day, I realized that I'm living a pathetic life.

It's just sad.






: Only ones who know - Arctic Monkeys